Wednesday, October 13, 2010

Last Wednesday

Last Wednesday we were in love.
Now we're just broken.

But I love you so much

My heart is full, my heart is empty
You leave me broken, you complete me
You raise me up, you bring me down
You say I threw you on the ground
But I love you so much

I love how you love me, I hate it
It's rainbows & butterflies, It's shit
I hate you now, but I love you still
I just want to kiss you, or kill
But I love you so much

What I would give to hear your voice again,
To be your lover, and your best friend
To have you now like I did before
But I don't want to talk anymore
I still love you so much

Kill me now, bring me to life
Here, take back your knife
I pulled it out of my back
Baby, just please come back
I love you so much

I want to see your name in my phone
I want you to leave me alone
Call me, I want to call you
I love your smile, I hate you
But I love you much

I know you love me, Yeah right
I want to hold you, I want to fight
I love you, I hate you
I want to fucking kill you
But I love you so much...


Thursday, October 7, 2010

Yo!

Hey,
while you're here, don;t forget to check out my other blog :)
It's new :D

Untitled- The lost BFF

She's been my best friend for the past eight years. And today we're fighting.
This is the time I need her the most and she isn't here.
It's happened before.
Her not being there I mean.
Last year, we broke up. And didn't speak to each other for almost an entire year.
I don't wanna write about her.
I don't like being emotional about people. I'd rather not care.
'Course there's a cause that's lost before it begins.
I'm a hopeless emotional.

I always felt like my ability to love people was my strength. Now I'm forced to wonder- is it a weakness in disguise?
Take S Jo for instance. I'm emotional to the point of irritation about him. He has his flaws, and I choose to completely overlook them..
Its the same with MS. Despite everything she did to hurt me last year, I took her back, no questions asked.
And I love her, I do.
But I'm not the most emotionally-equipped person at showing how I feel. Putting it in one sentence.. If I'm nice to you, I probably don't even like you, and if I'm rude, I love you.
I have a sharp edge and a blunt tongue and a vicious brain, but underneath it I'm fiercely loyal.
I cannot go up to her and tell her I need her, but I can feel it all the same.
I can cry for her, and listen to songs about her, and even look at our pictures together, but it's hard for me to tell her how much she means to me.
My only hope is for her to know, deep in her heart that her best friend feels quite lonely without her, and that she needs to come back.

In the meantime, I can still stare at the phone that won't beep.